Why a Thinking Woman Scares The World
Pop culture has long since tried to make us believe that there are umpteen differences between men and women. A much debated one being that men are just more intelligent than women. Rodin’s The Thinker is a classic reminder that the task of thinking has always been assigned to men. The natural corollary is that women have simply followed. Thankfully, the much touted neural differences between the sexes have been rebuffed by science. As Lise Elliot, a professor of neuroscience at the Chicago Medical School and the author of Pink Brain, Blue Brain, puts it -
“People say men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but the brain is a unisex organ.”
The brain is a unisex organ, and an intensely attractive one at that. Why then, does a thinking woman evoke so much negativity?
Our patriarchal society is built like a house of cards - a setup balancing itself on the passivity of women. Society is well aware that its hierarchy and rules are so laughable that if the oppressed are given access to equal opportunity and allowed the luxury of thinking, it will fall flat on its prejudiced face. It is imperative then, that women not be encouraged to think. It is also equally likely that all it shall take to bring the presets of society crumbling down is a few generations of thinking women.
However, as the world moves forward and more and more women identify with the thinking woman tag, they find themselves in a quandary. Studies show that men continue to steer clear of women who outsmart them. One such study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin claims that while men tend to like the idea of a smarter woman, it is only as long as they do not have to engage with or have their alpha status be challenged by them. Rightly titled ‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder’, the study elucidates how interacting with women who outsmart them tends to fire a negative response in men, even though they claim to find intelligence attractive.
The study points to the thoroughly ingrained ideas of providing males and nurturing females. Even the men who thought they desired someone smart and successful felt emasculated around women who had outshone them. The consensus is loud and clear - men want someone smart and successful, but not as smart and successful as them. A digression from traditionally defined roles is a little too uncomfortable and may trigger feelings of inadequacy in men.
This affinity for known territories is also shared by many women. Women who seek heterosexual partners seem to fall back into a pattern of accommodating. They try to be less when they’re told that they’re too much. As they try to chart the feminism learning curve, and struggle to balance relationships and their careers, many resort to dumbing themselves down. Apart from the obvious desire for companionship that makes women underplay their intelligence, many women also genuinely desire the familiarity of gender-defined roles. A 2016 study shows that wanting partners more intelligent than them has been dissuading women from advancing in STEM industries. As an article from Forbes illustrates -
But perhaps it isn’t too shocking that pastel pant suits strike fear in the hearts of friends and employees everywhere. In the U.S., men run roughly 97% of the largest public companies, hold 84% of major board positions and control 83% of Congress. Truly powerful women remain a tiny minority, and fear of the unknown is common and rational.
I consider myself lucky to know some really strong and successful women. However, what does stand out is that they are mostly all single. With the economic emancipation that their jobs offer them, they definitely do not need a man in the traditional sense. They seem to be moving forward choosing success over a relationship. I am sure that the unfairness of that very choice is apparent.
Having to choose between a burgeoning career and a partner is a choice no man has to make.
It is not just the women who are successful and have demanding jobs that this phenomenon affects. Many women from all walks of life face the entitlement of the other half of the population. Most of us have grown up seeing our mothers being asked to leave the thinking to those who know best, i.e. males.
A man standing his ground is assertive, a female doing the same is aggressive.
The way out of this problem is much like the way out of most problems. What the world says we can’t do, we must do and prove otherwise. And the first step to doing anything, is to think. We need to stop silencing minds that are designed to question what they observe. We need to create forums for thinking women to come together and lay out their thoughts for others to learn from. We may not be equipped with the confidence that aeons of entitlement brings, but we’re bestowed with curious minds - minds that are free to think, thoughts that pioneer action, and actions that could change the world.