5 Lessons for Girls in their 20’s
I get it. This title sounds condescending. After all, who am I to teach lessons to anyone? I’ve made huge mistakes and my life has been anything but perfect. Which is why there is a special place in my heart for girls who still have the time to make mindful decisions. So, condescending or not, I’m going to give the advice anyway.
I am constantly amazed at how astute and forthcoming this new generation is - no doubt a result of the exposure that came with the age of the internet. But with it, I’ve noticed plenty of flaws too. If I could hold a Gen-Z down and give them a piece of my mind, I would (but they’re hard to hold down, and even harder to advise). So I’ve put it in writing in the hope that some of them will share it on social media and it will be ‘cool’ enough for the others to see.
Leave the filters out - I was recently at lunch with a cousin at a really popular place. We’re never allowed to touch the food before she photographs them. We ordered a plate of momos and they were so bad, we had to send them back. Despite this, I noticed that she had put up an Instagram story that glorified the place and the momos! I realized that her Instagram feed was a series of ‘great’ experiences - giving people the impression that she was living a great life, thereby creating a covetable virtual personality.
To all the girls who’ve decided to create a persona on social media, so others may want to be like you - stop! Life isn’t a series of aesthetically put together experiences. It is raw and real. It is as much blah days, no makeup faces, bad food and sickness as it is blurry nights, good wine, puppies and kittens. If you’re going to be on social media, make it real. And for gods sake, don’t use that filter. Your skin is meant to have pores and your nose is your nose (I hope).Know the difference between instant and delayed gratification - ‘Have that cupcake, girl!’ or ‘Take that day off’ are great as long as they’re infrequent and well-deserved. Taking care of yourself is tough work. Eat your vegetables, work out, finish that assignment when every one is out partying - put in the work. And yes, take the break too. Have a cupcake, take a day off, allow yourself room to not be perfect. But don’t use YOLO as an excuse to not follow any routine. Self care is mostly delayed gratification. Learn the art of knowing what’s good for you and stick to it.
Find depth in work, not breadth - If you haven’t found your calling, by all means, keep exploring. But don’t chase the wrong things. Money, fame, power, will all come as a result of excellence. I see young girls getting too ambitious too soon, without putting in the work. Find depth in what you do - get really really good at it.
‘Fake it till you make it’ will only take you so far - Nothing infuriates me more than this adage that seems to have become the credo of this generation. I’ve realized that it means completely different things to millennials and Gen-Zs. For us, it meant faking it and then working obsessively to learn what we faked. For Gen-Zs, it means faking it and…well, that’s it. The problem with this is that if your boss doesn’t see the results, the cat is out of the bag. So please, work towards what you don’t know, ask for help and put in the time and effort!
Be kind to other women - Women are often each others’ worst enemies. It is as sad as it is true. Unless women find a way to uplift each other, we’re all going to come crashing down. I’ve noticed that a lot of girls simply gossip because it makes them a part of a clique - negativity unites people like positivity never can. There is place at the top for more than one person. Uplift and help each other get there and please stop pulling anyone down.
On that note, have a Happy New Year! Any resemblance (or direct references) to anyone is purely for the good of others, so forgive me :)